Quotes Of The Week: The Morning Show, Titans, The Other Two, B99 And More

Not to steal the Primetime Emmys' thunder or anything, but we have some TV awards to give out today, as well.

In our latest edition of Quotes of the Week, we've gathered more than 20 of the small screen's best sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.

This time around, we've got a wonderfully sassy moment from Hannah in Big Brother's Diary Room, Brooke and Cary's dissection of Angelina Jolie's film career on The Other Two, a cynical weather forecast from The Morning Show's Yanko and some belated criticism of Martin Scorsese's The Irishman, courtesy of Billions' Chuck Rhoades Sr.

Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of Ted Lasso (who was named TVLine's Performer of the Week?), Lucifer and the newly reinvented Daily Show, plus a three-time appearance from Brooklyn Nine-Nine's series finale. (Read our recap.)

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"'Bazinga!' is the war cry of Sheldon, their tall leader."

Nandor (Kayvan Novak) introduces us to the heroes of his favorite casino game: the Big Bang Theory slot machine

"Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret's little boy. Longtime listener, first-time caller..."

Coach Beard (Brendan Hunt) introduces himself to The Man Upstairs

"Beard is like the mailman. He always delivers and looks great in shorts."

Ted (Jason Sudeikis) defends his unusually tardy assistant coach

"What is she supposed to write on her Tinder profile, 'Gorgeous brunette runs magical island and bends reality'?"

Island guest Camille (Josie Bissett) ponders Elena's dating prospects, while reminding us that the island's big secret... really isn't much of a secret

"I think Kyland's foolish if what he's wanting to accomplish is winning this season. If your goal here is to lose to Xavier and walk out in second place, congratulations, 'cause you're doing amazing, sweetie."

Hannah (rightfully) questions why Kyland would want to take a competitive threat like Xavier to the Final Two

"I don't need that or Martin f—king Scorsese to explain the process of aging and physical destruction to me — especially not at four hours running time."

A newly ill but always sardonic Chuck Rhoades Sr. (Jeffrey DeMunn), coffin shopping and ripping The Irishman

"Don't you think our venue needs spikes? Or a moat? Spikes and a moat?"

"Our wedding is going to be spikes- and moat-free. I am saving that for the honeymoon."

Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) and Eve's (Inbar Lavi) wedding night looks to be a wild one!

"A whole angel war was fought to win Lucifer that seat. Remiel died for it. Chloe died for it—"

"You what now?"

"We still have some things we need to explain."

Ella (Aimee Garcia) has a few more things to learn about her celestial Scooby gang

"When a pro-life group set up a website where people could report violations of the new [Texas] law, people started quickly flooding it with tips, like claiming that the fictional characters in Marvel's Avengers were apparently seeking abortions — which, at the very least, is a hell of a pitch for an episode of What If...?"

"Bold design choice."

"What? I like anime."

"Worst-case scenario, we'll end up with the world's most expensive Gundam model."

Tony (voiced by Mick Wingert) has opinions about Killmonger's (Michael B. Jordan) drone design

"And it's on my birthday, and that's even worse! [Sobs] Last year, I got COVID on my birthday, and this is 10 times worse!"

Tammy, newly heartbroken by her split with Thomas, seems to need a little perspective

"Did you just give me your space address...?"

"Yes, but call first."

Blackfire (Damaris Lewis) shows Conner (Joshua Orpin) where Tamaran is located

"I know it looks different than when we left... You see, I would have kept doing the show from my apartment, but then I started to have problems with the Wi-Fi, and I decided that building an entirely new studio was easier than calling Spectrum."

Noah acknowledges his return to the studio following an 18-month stint at home

"You know which variant we really needed to stop before it got out of hand?"

"Kanye."

"Kanye! It was going well, and we didn't—"

"We should've said something when he started saying slavery was a choice and rapping about 'Poopy-di scoop...' We didn't stop him, and what'd Kanye start doing? Start living in a basement of a stadium and start dropping albums that's damn near two hours long. Nobody wants to listen to no damn two-hour album! Let me tell you something: If your album is more than two hours, that's not an album — that's a motherf—kin' book!"

Noah and Roy Wood Jr. engage in a dialogue about the Delta—err, "Donda" variant

"This is not a marriage, this is an alliance."

"Right, but it can be both."

"Put on your pants, Harlan. I need your help. Now."

"[Exasperated sigh] Fine."

Maghra (Hera Hilmar) isn't having it when she finds Lord Harlan (Tom Mison) ready for lovin' on the night of their for-strategic-purposes-only wedding

"I need to work, OK? I can't work with this guy on my ass. You gotta do something about this."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know — cop s—t."

Deran (Jake Weary), vaguely demanding that Officer Chadwick (Elliot Knight) take care of the DEA agent that shut down his bar

"You get all the credit for being in a movie without having to actually film it. Like Angelina Jolie and all those Maleficent movies."

"Yeah, there's no way those were real, right?"

"No, they are 100 percent just posters."

Brooke (Heléne Yorke) and Cary (Drew Tarver) have found a handy shortcut to showbiz stardom

"There's some really beautiful poetry.... 'E is for everyone, and all of their advice. F is for [bleep], even better, [bleep] 'em twice.'"

Laura Benanti shares an excerpt from her book M Is for MAMA (and Also Merlot)

"Do you believe in God?"

"No. No, I don't. Not anymore. Guess I just believe in me now."

"Hmm. Well, that's a mistake."

"Why's that?"

"You're not Him."

Religious fanatic Pope (Ritchie Coster), just casually getting to know judging Daryl (Norman Reedus)

"Hey, Yanko! What's the weather, man?"

"Well, the Earth's gonna crash into the sun. But tomorrow night, you're going to need a f—kin' sweater."

Meteorologist Yanko (Nestor Carbonell) has no patience for a fan who approaches him after a tough emotional moment

"These last eight years have been some of the best of my life. I will always cherish our time together... but not as much as I will drowning you all in your own blood. It's the final heist, and I will chop off your limbs and feed them to your young."

Eager to get his heist on, Holt's (Andre Braugher) last briefing as captain of the Nine-Nine takes an extremely dark turn

"I've gotta stop trying to capture the magic of the original and move on. Anyways, back to the eighth annual heist!"

Jake (Andy Samberg) doesn't see the irony when he acknowledges his failed efforts to recreate the magic of the Backstreet Boys sing-along

"I guess in the end, we rubbed off on each other quite a bit. Title of your sex movie. [Takes a beat] Did I do that right?"

"It was perfect."

Holt (Andre Braugher) botches a "title of your sex tape" joke, but Jake (Andy Samberg) is just happy for the onetime "robot captain" to have made one