The TVLine-Up: Your Guide To 81 Christmas Marathons And Specials
This Christmas, Santa isn't just stuffing stockings, he's filling DVRs — with more TV specials and marathons than you can shake a candy cane at! Among the offerings you'll be able to tune into starting Friday are a full dose of Doctor Whos, a plethora of Season 1 catch-ups (Being Human, Awkward, Downton Abbey) and even a Chrismukkah miracle (or two or three or... ). Where should you start? TVLine's handy roundup may be of some assistance.
MONDAY, DEC. 26
Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC, 6 am – 4 pm) | As if Hoarding wasn't bad enough, they've now added Buried Alive.
Top Gear (BBC America, 8 am – Tuesday, 5 am) | Get plenty of fuel (treats) for this lengthy road trip.
Wife Swap (Lifetime, 8 am – 9 pm) | Nothing like checking out the other side to make you appreciate your own crazy family. And just a glass or two of eggnog too late...
Band of Brothers (Spike TV, 9 am – Tuesday, 1:12 am) | Already missing Homeland? Check out Damian Lewis in this HBO mini from Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, which features a who's who of top-notch actors: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Neal McDonough, Donnie Wahlberg, Kirk Acevedo, Colin Hanks... The list goes on and on.
Southern Fried Stings (truTV, 9 am – 3 pm) | Sadly, it's about stings, not French fry strings.
Being Human (Syfy, noon – Tuesday, 1 am) | Before Season 2 of the US remake premieres Jan. 17, catch up on the first season.
Bad Girls Club (Oxygen, 1 pm – midnight) | The marathon also includes Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too and a Season 8 preview. What it does not include is a shot of penicillin.
Awkward (MTV, 5 – 11 pm) | We've talked about this funny and heartfelt teen comedy before, so you better have a really good excuse for not watching this Season 1 marathon.
Little Dorrit (TCM, 8 pm – Tuesday, 2:15 am) | Celebrate Charles Dickens' bicentennial with parts one and two of the 1988 film.
Rudolph's Shiny New Year (ABC, 8 – 9 pm) | ABC airs the classic Rankin/Boss stop-motion animated special featuring the voice of Red Skelton as Father Time.
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FRIDAY, DEC. 23
Parental Control (MTV, 3 – 10 am) | Visions of appalling future sons- and daughters-in-law dancing in their heads, Mom and Dad try to get rid of their kids' loser "better halves" by setting up blind dates for their offspring.
How It's Made (Science Channel, 6 am – Saturday, 6 am) | Ever wonder how pipes are made? How about luxury cars? And anything else under the sun? Find out during this marathon that has everything going for it but a Michael Westen voiceover.
The Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo, 6 am – 3:30 pm) | Because you're sure to feel better about the fact that you have no one to kiss under the mistletoe once you realize that sometimes, neither do the filthy rich. Um, right?
Ghost Adventures (Travel Channel, 9 am – 10 pm) | Maybe, as you visit the most haunted places in the world, you'll bump into the Ghost of Christmas Past. Or Future. Or not.
Gold Rush (Discovery Channel, 9 am – 10:01 pm) | Mind you, there'll be no skimping on holiday presents if you strike gold!
My Strange Addiction (OWN, 9 am – 6 pm) | Yes, the one about the woman who eats toilet paper is included.
Gangland (Spike TV, 9:33 am – 9:18 pm) | Celebrate the holidays with America's most notorious street gangs... if you dare.
America's Next Top Model (Style Network, 11 am – 11 pm) | Paulina Porizkova, you are missed.
It Only Hurts When I Laugh (truTV, 11 am – 5 pm) | If America's Funniest Home Videos aren't enough for you, perhaps you'll enjoy these home videos. Although technically, they're not guaranteed to be "America's funniest."
Roseanne (Oxygen, 11 am – 5:30 pm) | And those bitches on Wisteria Lane think they're Desperate Housewives. (Also airs Saturday, 10:30 am – 6 pm.)
Elmo's Movie Merry-Thon (Sprout, 1 – 5:28 pm) | Sit the kids down in front of the tube for a holiday movie marathon — sorry, that's merry-thon — hosted by Elmo and featuring Caillou's Holiday Movie, Bob the Builder: Snowed Under, Barney's Christmas Star and Elmo's World: Happy Holidays. What, no Showgirls, then?
Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 3 pm – 10 pm) | Future brides spending extravagant amounts of money on wedding dresses should make you feel better about all the dough you spent this year on reindeer sweaters.
Christmas Thrillers (TCM, 8 pm – Saturday, 5:30 am) | TCM goes for the jugular — sometimes literally — this Christmas with the thrillers Backfire, Lady in the Lake, Murder, My Sweet, Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out) and New Year's Evil.
Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special (Comedy Central, 8 – 9:01 pm) | Comedy Central reheats the funnyman's 2008 special, which features original carols like "Jingle Bombs."
Noah's Arc (Logo, 8 pm – Saturday, 12:30 am) | It's Sex and the City for guys. Only the guys are gay. And the city is L.A.
Olive, the Other Reindeer (The CW, 8 – 9 pm) | Too cute: When Blitzen gets injured, Olive the dog wants to step in and help deliver presents.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (The CW, 9 –10 pm) | In this animated special that brings to life the popular song, a young boy sets out to track down his missing maw-maw on Christmas Eve and prove that Santa is real.
PROCEED TO NEXT PAGE (CLICK BELOW) FOR SATURDAY's HIGHLIGHTSSATURDAY, DEC. 24
Doctor Who (BBC America, 12 am – 8 pm) | Relieve your holiday stress with a marathon of Christmas specials from the British sci-fi series, topped off by Doctor Who: Best of the Christmas Specials at 8 pm.
Ridiculousness (MTV, 2 – 7:30 am) | Clips of people getting hurt. Um, well, that's a different interpretation of the Christmas spirit...
Harper's Island (Chiller, 6 am – 7 pm) | The ill-fated CBS horror-thriller delivers a nightmare before Christmas.
Oddities (Science Channel, 6 am – Sunday, 6 am) | Spend 24 hours at Obscura Antiques & Oddities, and you'll be treated to a new episode, "Holiday Bizarre," at 9 pm on Saturday.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo, 6 am – Sunday, 4 am) | Scarier than anything you'll see on that Harper's Island marathon we just told you about.
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food Network, 7 am – noon) | Why is it every time you flip on the Food Network, this show is playing? Case in point: Also airs Monday, 6 pm – Tuesday, 4 am. That's so Groundhog Day, not Christmas.
American Guns (Discovery, 9 am –4 pm) | In the first episode, someone wants a pink 1911 pistol. But no, Miss Piggy, you'll put your eye out!
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant (OWN, 9 am – 8 pm) | This needs to be a "Really!?!" segment on SNL. Can someone over there make that a New Year's resolution, please?
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 9:30 am – Sunday, 1:30 am) | What comes after I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.
NCIS (USA Network, 10 am – Sunday, 2 am) | It's a "Three Wise Men"-themed marathon. Because they always come in threes...
Strangers With Candy (Logo, noon – 4 pm) | Way before she stole dairy from Eli on The Good Wife, Amy Sedaris co-created (along with Stephen Colbert!) and starred in this (way) offbeat Comedy Central series.
Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E, 1 pm – Sunday, 4:02 am) | Not sure how they'll stretch this out til 4 am. Everybody knows the paper towels are in aisle 2.
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (TeenNick, 1 – 9 pm) | Tell us your secrets, Ned! It's all we want for Christmas, really it is!
Sex and the City (Style Network, 1 – 7:30 pm) | It's a Season 3 marathon, which means you'll doing a lot of screaming, "Aiden's too good for you, Carrie!"
Sons of Guns (Discovery, 4 pm – Sunday, 2 am) | Want a flamethrower cannon for Christmas? These guys can build it.
Swamp People (History, 4 pm – Sunday, 4:02 am) | Shhh, be vewwy quiet! We're hunting alligators.
Snooze-a-Thon (Sprout, 6 pm – Sunday, 6 am) | Simple but genius way to get kids to go to bed on Christmas Eve: 12 hours' worth of clips from Sesame Street, The Wiggles, Pajanimals, Lazy Town and Berenstain Bears, featuring the popular characters... sleeping!
A Christmas Story (TBS, 8 pm – Sunday, 8 pm) | Watch the beloved 1983 film over and over and over. Or, if you prefer, just over and over.
Bob's Christmas Eve Picks (TCM, 8 pm – Sunday, 6 am) | Host Robert Osborne returns with his handpicked classics: Margie, Auntie Mame, The Bishop's Wife and Tenth Avenue Angel. But first: Miracle on 34th Street.
Christmas Crazy (Travel Channel, 8 – 9 pm) | Over-the-top Christmas displays include surfing Santas and some ginormous Christmas trees.
The Nerdist (BBC America, 9 – 10 pm) | Chris Hardwick takes a look back at the year in pop culture with celebrity guests, comedians, bloggers and podcasters. And no, we're not miffed that we weren't asked to participate. Not in the least. Hmmph. Stupid BBC.
The Graham Norton Show (BBC America, 10 – 11 pm) | A special Christmas edition of the UK chat show promises surprise guests and laughs. But does that mean the guests will be surprised, or we will? And will the laughs also be a surprise? Hmm...
Christmas in Chelsea Square (CBS, 11:35 pm – Sunday, 12:35 am) | The special, hosted at the Chapel of the Good Shepherd in New York City's Chelsea district, will feature Scripture readings, choral works and musical performances.
PROCEED TO NEXT PAGE (CLICK BELOW) FOR SUNDAY'S HIGHLIGHTSSUNDAY, DEC. 25
Bleach (Cartoon Network, 12 – 6 am) | If you like anime with your unwrapping, Cartoon Network has you covered.
Best of I Love The... (VH1, 3 – 8 am) | Didn't get that time machine you wanted? No worries. You can still relive the '70s, '80s and '90s.
Doctor Who (BBC America, 5 am – 9 pm) | Amy and Rory may be departing soon, but you can still catch them during this Season 6 marathon.
House (Cloo, 6 am – Monday, 6 am) | You probably don't have that guest star's disease, but we can't be positive...
The Outer Limits (Chiller, 6 am – Monday, 6 am) | Play "Hey, it's that guy from... !" during this 24-hour marathon of the sci-fi anthology series.
Inside the Actors Studio (Bravo, 6 am – 2 pm) | Among those being subject to the Proust Questionnaire are James Franco, Betty White, Charlie Sheen, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Aniston and the cast of Modern Family.
Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade (ABC, 9 – 11 am PT/Noon – 2 pm ET) | Hosts Nick Cannon, Mario Lopez and Maria Menounos take you inside the happiest place on Earth on the happiest day of the year, with performances from Jennifer Hudson, Justin Bieber and Christina Aguilera.
Firefly (Science Channel, 9 am – Monday, 6 am) | So you don't drive a sleigh — big deal! Take me away, anyway, Captain Mal!
Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9 am – 3 pm) | Grant and Jason go hunting for ghosts in this Season 7 marathon. Which is obviously very different from what they would have done in a Season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 marathon.
A Gospel Christmas (CBS, 9 – 10 am) | Kenny Lattimore, Chanté Moore, Howard Hewett, Sounds of Blackness, Shirley Murdoch, Shanice and many more perform.
My Fair Wedding With David Tutera (WE tv, 10 am – Monday, 4 am) | The celebrity wedding planner attempts to get regular gals hitched like a Kardashian. Though hopefully with longer-lasting results.
The Oprah Winfrey Show (OWN, 10 am – 8 pm) | Missing Oprah? She's still here for you.
Mythbusters (Discovery, 11 am – Monday, 3 am) | The team bursts some bubbles beginning with a holiday special that tackles Christmas hype.
Caillou Movie Marathon (Sprout, noon – 6 pm) | It's really just the same holiday movie over and over, but don't tell the kids.
Malcolm in the Middle (IFC, noon – 8:30 pm) | Before he was cooking up meth on Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston was just trying to survive his crazy brood.
Man v. Food Nation (Travel Channel, noon – 4 pm) | Host Adam Richman travels to Nashville, the Florida Keys and beyond. Hopefully, at the end of his journey, we'll get to find out if he can fit down a chimney. Or through a door. Or... (Also airs Sunday, 8 pm – Monday, 4 am.)
NFL Holiday Spectacular (CBS, noon – 1 pm) | Apparently, historic and memorable NFL moments can capture the holiday spirit, too. Who knew?
The Real Housewives of... (Bravo, noon – Monday, 4 am) | The ladies — and heaven knows we use the term loosely — of Beverly Hills and Atlanta remind us why they'll always be on Santa's naughty list. (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills also airs Monday, 6 pm – Tuesday, 4 am.)
1,000 Ways to Die (Spike TV, 1 pm – Monday, 4 am) | Maybe don't watch this if you're feeling the holiday blues.
Drake & Josh (TeenNick, 1 – 9 pm) | Alert the tweens!
Snapped (Oxygen, 1 pm – Monday, 3 am) | What you will be if the family doesn't leave on time.
Face Off (Syfy, 3 – 11 pm) | A group of prosthetic makeup artists compete for the $100,000 prize by trying to camouflage a certain reindeer's neon-red nose. OK, we made up that last part.
The O.C. (SoapNet, 3 – 7 pm) | Celebrate "Chrismukkah-time in the O.C." with all four of the teen soap's holiday mash-up episodes. Our favorites: the Season 1 classic that started it all and the "It's a Wonderful Life"-esque, Bizarro World of Season 4's "Chrismukk-huh?"
Hardcore Pawn (truTV, 4 – 11 pm) | Spend some time at American Jewelry and Loan, a family-owned pawn shop. Trust us, the lines are shorter than the ones you'll stand in at Macy's when you try to exchange that juicer.
Brain Games (National Geographic, 5 pm – Monday, 3 am) | Hey, just because it's the holidays and everyone is off work doesn't mean you should let your gray matter waste away. Use that noodle!
General Hospital (SoapNet, 7 pm – Monday, 6 am) | Catch the beloved sudser on SoapNet while it and the network still exist.
Christmas by Leo McCarey (TCM, 8 – Monday, 6:30 am) | TCM unwraps six of the director's films, including Duck Soup and Once Upon a Honeymoon.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (ABC, 8 – 8:30 pm) | Boris Karloff narrates this 1966 animated special that was so perfect in its execution that it needed no further adaptation. Not that that stopped Jim Carrey, whose 2000 movie version airs at 8:30 pm.
Doctor Who: The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe (BBC America, 9 – 10:20 pm) | This year's Christmas special journeys back to World War II as a struggling mother of two learns that a Time Lord never forgets his debts.
Downton Abbey (PBS, 9 pm – Monday, 1:30 am) | Want to know what all the fuss is about? Here's your chance to check out Season 1.
Merlin (Syfy, 11 pm – Monday, 5 am) | Catch up on the last six episodes of Season 3 before Season 4 debuts Jan. 6.