Quotes Of The Week: The Bachelorette, Summer I Turned Pretty, AGT And More

If you'd told us that this week's most thrilling TV drama would be SAG-AFTRA's press conference announcing an official strike, we wouldn't have believed you.

And yet, Fran Drescher's spirited, pro-labor speech at Thursday's presser was as riveting as any scripted series, and you'll find an excerpt from it in our latest Quotes of the Week column below.

This time around, our weekly compilation of TV's most memorable sound bites also features a Celebrity Family Feud response that has us concerned for Christina Ricci's sleep cycle, Sofía Vergara's spat with a puppet (!) on America's Got Talent, and a Bachelorette date moment that's as alarming to see as it is to hear.

Plus, we've got double doses of The Afterparty (grade the Season 2 premiere) and The Summer I Turned Pretty (once again, grade the Season 2 premiere).

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"I don't care if you're having sex with Chloe Lane or Lady Gaga or Miss bloody Piggy for that matter."

We get what Gwen (Emily O'Brien) is going for here, but let the record show that we would care very much if Xander suddenly started sleeping with either of those women, especially Kermit the Frog's beloved pig-wife

"I had male genitalia an hour ago, and I currently do not."

John is smooth from head to toe as "Birthday Suit Ken" on a Barbie-themed group date

"What's happening?" 

"I'm not sure, but historically, when rich white people whisper, it's never a good thing." 

Feng (Ken Jeong) gets some really bad vibes when Isabel and Sebastian start being secretive following Edgar's untimely death

"My mother says hello. She wanted to be here but she was busy with silence and alcohol."

The soon-to-be-dead Edgar (Zach Woods) apologizes for his mother's absence on account of her alcoholism

"I am wearing a costume! I'm Helen Gurley Brown, writer and founder of Cosmopolitan magazine, circa 1970."

"I just thought you were you."

Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) can't distinguish Carrie's (Sarah Jessica Parker) Halloween costume from her everyday wear

"Well, personally, I think I've been doing this a little longer than you."

"Well, yes you have, because you're a lot older than me."

"You're fired."

"Well, you can't [fire me], because you're a puppet."

Judge Sofía Vergara gets feisty with a puppet version of Simon Cowell after she was the only judge to press her buzzer 

"You blew off my ear, so what? I have another."

The Croat (Željko Ivanek) tries to convince Negan that he's let bygones be bygones

"I fired Fury, OK? No, I'm sorry, correction. I DDT'd that dude from the top rope."

"Rhodey" (Don Cheadle) takes a victory lap while meeting with Priscilla

"That's my kind of man, silent but deadly, because... that doesn't sound right. That sounds like a fart."

Given Sonja Morgan's documented dating history, we actually think this sounds exactly right

"She must be some sort of a con woman."

"Oh my God, yes! Like in those articles that become podcasts that become limited series that become podcasts that recap the limited series!"

Sophie (Hilary Duff) and Sid (Suraj Sharma) suspect Jesse's girlfriend is up to no good

"You had Jeremiah, and it just wasn't enough. You had to have Conrad, too. God, you are so f—king selfish."

"I had to have Conrad? Are you kidding? I was in love, Steven. Like out-of-my-mind in love. What was I supposed to do?!"

Siblings Steven (Sean Kaufman) and Belly (Lola Tung) have an epic argument

"I know you're not eating any pie because you're worried about ruining your abs."

"I mean, they are a service to mankind."

Belly (Lola Tung) and Jeremiah (Gavin Casalegno) have a moment of playful banter

"How many minutes does it take you to fall asleep after you go to bed?"

"Three-hundred and twenty...?"

Someone please order Christina Ricci a case of Tylenol PM!

"He's behaving unusually, and if there's anyone who can get to the bottom of this kind of thing, it's me. Why? Because I am the king of bottoms."

Laszlo (Matt Berry) is perfectly suited to investigate Guillermo's odd behavior

"The answer is... me! Me!!"

None of the players are able to name Faith Ford's co-star in the ABC sitcom Hope & Faith

"You leave me alone with Somsak, he will murder me and steal my money."

"Yeah, but if he doesn't, you can come get me and Jack." 

Ding (Michael Peña) invites Mike (Michael Kelly) to see the bright side

"We're not going to keep doing incremental changes on a contract that no longer honors what is happening right now, with this business model that was foisted upon us. What are we doing? Moving around furniture on the Titanic?!"

Just one of many highlights from SAG-AFTRA President Fran Drescher's impassioned speech against the AMPTP as an actors' strike was officially called