Quotes Of The Week: Only Murders, Task, The Paper, Tony & Ziva And More

In addition to cheering on your favorite football team this weekend, celebrate TV's top-scoring dialogue with our latest edition of Quotes of the Week.

In the column below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including The Summer I Turned Pretty, Task, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and Match Game.

Also featured in this week's roundup: Only Murders in the Building's Oliver declares his theatrical limits, Stephen Colbert celebrates The Late Show's 10th anniversary and The Paper gets a little festive. Plus, we've got quotable moments from the U.S. Open, LEGO Masters Jr. and Big Brother.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)

"Don't think I'm going to make your jury roundtable easy. You are going to have to work to win this game. You're going to have to fight and get blood on your hands. Because I did. And I've done it three times now. So don't think that you can show up in those Final 2 chairs and I'm going to let you guys get off easy. If you want to be a legend like me, then you're going to work for it and earn it."

Red Queen Rachel Reilly exits the game with a strongly worded message for the newbies she leaves behind

"Texting with periods. This woman is intense."

"[Ziva on comms] You text with periods."

"I know. But I never understood why Tali hated it so much, until now."

Tony (Michael Weatherly) keeps Martine busy, as Ziva (Cote de Pablo) readies to "marry" Boris

"Oh, come on. That was self-defense."

Tony (Michael Weatherly) sends a bad guy toppling out a high window, right under Jesus' nose

"There's very little I won't do. A musical about 9/11? Took that call! But the mob? Nope! Don't do the mob."

Even Oliver (Martin Short) has his limits — though we now have reason to question where he draws the line

"Four?!? Oh, honey, I'm not going to lie to you: Four is a lot of murders."

Lorraine (Dianne Wiest) begins to question how four murderers got past doorman husband Lester

"Tonight is the 10th anniversary of The Late Show With [gestures at himself]. Of course, every anniversary has its traditional gift: The first anniversary is paper, the fifth anniversary is wood, and the 10th anniversary is cancellation. Thank you, Paramount, for remembering."

"Yeah, people tend to just trust me. It's something about the beard and soft eyes combination. People say I look like a young Kris Kringle."

Travis (Eric Rahill) has a long career of playing mall Santas ahead of him

"They want youth, and I'm an unrefined old bitch."

Kathleen (Martha Plimpton) explains why she's being forcibly retired by the FBI

"Turns out your dad knows about me and Steven starting our own company, so he chose the day of our Lord's birth to blow it all up."

"Christmas is tomorrow."

"OK, but what time is it in Bethlehem right now, huh?"

Denise (Isabella Briggs) has a point!

"Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson is done with Hollywood. Now he's Dwayne 'The Caulk' Johnson. By the way, that's spelled c-a-u-l-k..."

Martin Short offers a much-needed clarification!

"That's a look that shouldn't be permitted."

"That's their way of supporting [redhead finalist Jannik] Sinner, John. Their... unique way."

ESPN's Chris Fowler keeps fellow announcer John McEnroe from wigging out

"What are you going to take away most from this experience?"

"I would take away the trophy. The money. And... some friends."

Chelle lays out her priorities for host Kelly Osbourne