Orange Is The New Black: OMG Season 5 Moments

When Daya shoots Humphrey in the leg.

When Maureen blows bubbles in Humphrey's IV, resulting in a stroke.

When Frieda's bats—t crazy dad leaves her stranded in the wilderness.

When the inmates officially take the COs hostage — and one unlucky officer is treated to a very public cavity search.

When Linda's drunk sorority sister freezes to death after going outside to pee in the snow.

When Piper and Alex come across photos of Caputo's "formidable c—k" on Linda's phone.

When Stratman happily strips for the inmates in an effort to win "Litchfield Idol."

When Judy King becomes the white nationalists' slave.

When a young Watson witnesses an all-white production of Dream Girls.

When Pennsatucky and Coates inadvertently shoot off the tip of Leanne's finger. (Overall, just not a good weekend for people keeping their fingers.)

When a suited-up Boo enters to the tune of Law & Order.

When Boo puts Angie's Saved by the Bell knowledge, only to discover that she never saw the Malibu Sands episodes.

When Poussey makes a brief return (albeit via flashback).

When Chang escapes through a hole in the fence — but not before bidding Litchfield a proper adieu.

When Taystee nearly puts a bullet in Piscatella's head, but Red lets him go...

... which leads to Piscatella being shot between the eyes by a fellow officer!

When Piper, Alex, Red, Nicky, Gloria, Taystee, Cindy, Suzanne, Blanca and Freida join hands and await the arrival of armed officers as the prison riot officially comes to an end.

When Judy King and Aleida appear on a Meredith Vieira-hosted news program called — wait for it — The Review! (We'll let that one marinate for a second...)

When Piper proposes to Alex using a can of baked beans (because she doesn't have access to a can of corn).

Or reaches Ripping the Hair Out of Red's Scalp Using a Knife levels of crazy...

Or Piscatella reaches Take a Bunch of Prisoners Hostage levels of crazy...

When we witness how Piscatella killed that inmate at his former job...

Or reaches Breaking Alex's Arm levels of crazy!

When Coates peeps on Pennsatucky's intimate moment through a ceiling tile.

When Red cuts off part of Humphrey's finger to use it to unlock his iPhone.