Quotes Of The Week: Suits LA, Traitors, Abbott Elementary, Oscars And More
The Oscars have come and gone, but we're still handing out awards for the best TV dialogue in our latest edition of Quotes of the Week.
In the list below — which features our picks for TV's most memorable sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find more than a dozen shows represented, including Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Chicago Med, 1923, Paradise, The Traitors, Ghosts and more.
Also featured in this week's roundup: Suits LA pays homage to Harvey Specter, Love Is Blind delivers sage advice and Shifting Gears gives a shoutout to The View. Plus, we've got double doses of Last Week Tonight With John Oliver and the Academy Awards, and a triple dose of Daredevil: Born Again.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Vlada Gelman, Rebecca Luther, Matt Webb Mitovich, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
THE 97TH ACADEMY AWARDS
"Netflix leads all studios with an impressive 18 — count them, 18 price increases. And I think they can beat that next year!"
THE 97TH ACADEMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)
"Anora is having a good night.... I guess Americans are excited to see somebody finally stand up to a powerful Russian."
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!
"Conan did such a good job, the Oscars announced that next year, they're giving it to Jay Leno to host."
THE TRAITORS
"Are you ready for our date?"
"I feel like I'm back on The Bachelor. Should we make out?"
Gabby Windey has a moment of déjà vu when meeting Britney Haynes for a candlelit dinner
SUITS LA
"I know I never liked him."
"Why not?"
"Because he's the only person I knew cockier than you."
"It's funny. That's exactly why I liked him."
"Yeah. Plus, he was too pretty. Can't trust them pretty ones."
Kevin (Troy Winbush) and Ted (Stephen Amell) discuss Harvey Specter
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
"You know who wouldn't need to announce that they're a sex machine? An actual sex machine. Everyone knows a true sex machine is respectable, professional and focused on their weekly television show. I'm, of course, referring to Noah Wyle."
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER (Bonus Quote!)
"Is watching the president s—t on a weaker ally for not wanting to be conquered while his goon VP tries to see if he can wrap his lips around his boss' a—hole from a neighboring couch 'good' television? I'd argue it's more 'hit your TV with a hammer until the pain stops' television, but reasonable people can disagree."
SHIFTING GEARS
"You two arguing like that was like being on The View on Election Day."
Matt (Tim Allen) recalls teenage Riley's arguments with her late mom
CHICAGO MED
"Well, you're not ugly, are you?"
Trapped well victim Sadie (Holly Curran) greets Dr. Ripley
1923
"Mother of God... if it weren't for bad luck, you'd have none at all."
Cara (Helen Mirren) can't believe the latest scrape Elizabeth has gotten into
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
"The movie's being directed by Ryan Coogler. It's like Wicked with better dancing."
Ava (Janelle James), discussing the book The Sassy Wizard Kid
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)
"Let's get rid of Everybody Poops, 'cause most days I don't, and that's a problem."
A parent takes things too far during a PTA meeting about book banning
PARADISE
"Probably should have just let me have the Wii."
After shooting her boss, Jane (Nicole Brydon Bloom) reveals just how rogue she's gone
NCIS
"Why are we questioning Victoria in our interrogation room instead of literally anywhere else...?"
"Because this is where the liars go."
Jimmy (Brian Dietzen) is none too happy about his teen daughter's big fib
NCIS (Bonus Quote!)
"Alden Parker! He single-handedly took down the Philly Phantom, kid!"
"Oh, I'm aware. Please don't call me 'kid.'"
Torres (Wilmer Valderrama) is a grown man, dammit
LOVE IS BLIND
"I used to constantly give the benefit of the doubt. But you cannot date someone for their potential, because they may never reach their potential."
Sara delivers some wise words — a rarity on this Netflix dating series
DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN (Episode 1)
"I refuse to believe that a tragedy had to destroy everything."
"But it did."
Matt (Charlie Cox) and Karen (Deborah Ann Woll) catch up after a year apart
DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN (Episode 1 Bonus Quote!)
"I tried to mentor someone, but...."
"Didn't she shoot you in the face?"
[Fisk laughs heartily] "The younger generation. What can you do?"
Wilson Fisk (Vincent D'Onofrio) tells Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox) about his post-criminal life
DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN (Episode 2)
"Drakkar Noir. The scent of choice for New York's Finest."
Matt (Charlie Cox) gets a whiff of the competition
GHOSTS
"It concerns a family candy dynasty. It's sort of like Succession meets Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except everybody's hot."
Hetty (Rebecca Wisocky) describes her guilty pleasure show Night Sugar
S.W.A.T.
"He's got a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt."
Damn, Tan (David Lim) — that's a whole lotta crime!