Real Housewives Of New York City Premiere: Cool Girls Don't Eat Cheese — Plus, Every Cast Member, Ranked!

Apples are askew in a lactose-laced New York City, and we are loving it!

In Sunday's Season 14 premiere of The Real Housewives of New York City, we met an entirely new cast — a cast so cool that it's almost a tragedy to even associate the instantly iconic group with the same s–t-smearing and cabaret-stumbling women of RHONY's yesteryear. The last time we met a group of women this chic on Bravo was on the short-lived Ladies of London, which begs the question: Will it last? We hope so!

Just take the cast photo, for instance. So long to the erect, outstretched hand eagerly holding a piece of fruit. In Season 14, we're doing slouchy, cool-girl apple dangling. The women are visibly aloof. They don't need the show; they aren't desperately clutching to the franchise like Ramona white-knuckling a glass of Pinot. If money talks and wealth whispers, these girls are practically inaudible!

In the premiere, drama oriented around one major question: To cheese or not to cheese? Did Sai diss Erin for serving a charcuterie board at her recent get-together? Or is Brynn just making up lies? Yes, an episode fueled by a dairy debacle is frivolous and inconsequential, and that's exactly what Housewives should be! Miscommunication and social blunders are preferred over FBI raids, fake illnesses and serious family dysfunction. The franchise's most iconic moments, after all, stem from completely trivial events — sending a little family van, eating a bow off of a cake, being all like uncool and getting down for turtle time. This new iteration of RHONY is teeing up to add its own unforgettably ridiculous moments to the canon.

The premiere was such a return to the forgotten form of the franchise that it's almost too good to be true. And while we love all the ladies, we do have our favorites. Scroll through our rankings of each new cast member, and let us know who your favorite RHONY Housewife is in the comments!

Jessel might as well have been a "Friend of." We hardly got to know her in the premiere! Her confessionals were a little flat and she was just, well, a bit boring. We hope she can get more into the mix of things as the season progresses.

Jenna is the Countess Luann of Season 14. She's a bit buttoned up, a bit reserved — very stately. Unlike the Jovani-clad faux royalty of the past, however, Jenna exudes real chic vibes and we can't wait to see more of what her closet (and entire fabulous apartment!) has to offer.

Sai seems like someone we might actually want to be friends with. Her family is cute, her style slays and the woman swears she loves cheese! Plus, we're happy to see her showcase Brooklyn more than 10 years after Alex McCord haunted the borough in her Herman Munster shoes. Though Sai is veering toward becoming a disengaging queen a la Meredith Marks as she seemingly rises above all the drama, which is preferred in real life but could get boring on our screens. But then again, how much of a reaction did Cheese Gate really warrant?

Erin wants us to believe she's laid-back and low maintenance. She doesn't fuss over what kind of restaurant she eats at, nor is she above serving cheese at a party. Yet, her inability to let anything go directly contradicts the image she portrays. And this is what will make her a perfect Housewife! We can't wait to see what other minor grievances she won't be able to get over!

There's something about Ubah that we just love! She injects a room with light-hearted energy, which will go a long way amongst a group that can become so easily divided over the merits of charcuterie. We loved that Ubah arrived to Jenna's party in full animal print beige, proving she's not too cool for a theme (even one as questionable as khaki).

We have high hopes that Brynn will be the confessional queen of the season. Her commentary already has us cracking up. But she's mainly our favorite from the premiere because she single-handedly launched Cheese Gate, but just as easily quashed it in a five minute closet conversation. It's that kind of ability to keep things moving that we need from RHONY. So while we aren't sure if we'd want to be friends with Brynn, she's looking like she has all the ingredientses to become a Bravo icon.