Roseanne Best Episodes
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"BOO!"
Season 2, Episode 7
The Conners' first-ever salute to the spook-tacular holiday finds Roseanne and Dan trying to scare the living bejeezus out of each other, followed by the family's very own haunted house attraction. (For our ranking of every Halloween episode, click here.)
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"Let's Call It Quits"
Season 1, Episode 23
Roseanne, Jackie and Crystal are sick of being overworked by their sexist new boss, who goes around giving them nicknames like "blondie" and "honey bunch." They eventually band together and punch out at Wellman Plastics for good, refusing to be disrespected just because they're women.
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"Inherit the Wind"
Season 2, Episode 1
Becky "cuts the cheese" in front of the entire student body council — and Darlene takes great pleasure in making sure her big sis never forgets it.
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"Little Sister"
Season 2, Episode 2
Jackie's inability to stick with a career becomes something of a running gag — but her decision to become a cop is no laughing matter for Roseanne, who fears her sister is going to get killed.
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"An Officer and a Gentleman"
Season 2, Episode 15
What would Roseanne look like... without Roseanne? Apparently something like this. With the title character out of town, Jackie fills in around the house and bonds with brother-in-law Dan.
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"Life and Stuff"
Season 1, Episode 1
The very first episode is best remembered for a fight between husband and wife. Roseanne scolds Dan for not doing his part around the house, then mocks him when he declares he's going to make dinner for the entire family: "Oh but honey, you just fixed dinner three years ago!"
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"One for the Road"
Season 2, Episode 14
Of all of Becky's harebrained decisions, breaking into her parents' liquor cabinet during an unsupervised study session is among the dumbest.
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"Home-Ec"
Season 3, Episode 16
Darlene's worst nightmare comes true when Roseanne teaches her home economics class a thing or two about how to be a "common sense homemaker." (Blink and you'll miss a pre-Growing Pains Leonard DiCaprio among Darlene's classmates.)
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"A Bitter Pill to Swallow"
Season 4, Episode 1
Roseanne is not at all prepared when Becky comes asking about birth control. The situation is even more awkward for Dan, who has just hired Mark to come work at the bike shop.
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"Aliens"
Season 4, Episode 25
Roseanne and Dan already feel bad enough about the imminent closure of the bike shop. Then they have to tell Becky that they can't afford to send her to college, which leads into an unforgettable screaming match.
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"Terms of Estrangement"
Season 5, Episodes 1 and 2
Becky phones Roseanne and Dan to inform them that she eloped with Mark. When she returns home to collect her belongings and move to Minnesota, Dan can't bear to look at his daughter or his new son-in-law.
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"Crime and Punishment" / "War and Peace"
Season 5, Episodes 13 and 14
Jackie gets beat up by Fisher, and Dan is none too pleased. He retaliates by roughing up his sister-in-law's abuser, then temporarily gets thrown in jail after Fisher presses charges. Jackie eventually goes to collect her belongings from Fisher's apartment, leaving her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend for good.
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"Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home"
Season 5, Episode 16
The death of Roseanne and Jackie's father brings up a lot of painful memories — but this episode is probably best remembered for Jackie's painfully funny phone call with a hard-of-hearing relative.
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"It's a Boy"
Season 5, Episode 19
Johnny Galecki's David becomes a permanent fixture in the Conner household after Roseanne pays Mrs. Healy a visit and discovers she's not in her right mind.
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"A Stash From the Past"
Season 6, Episode 4
Roseanne, Dan and Jackie get stoned — and it's positively high-larious. Funniest of all is Jackie, who's grows anxious in the Conners' tub and asks, "Is this the sink? Am I shrinking??"
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"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
Season 6, Episode 18
This episode, which almost didn't air, finds the typically progressive Roseanne freaking out after Nancy's new girlfriend makes a move. The once controversial kiss was seen by nearly 30 million people when it was first broadcast.
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"Into That Good Night"
Season 9, Episodes 23 and 24
The original series finale gets a bad rep for killing off Dan, but it also writes away all those controversial final season twists, including the $108 million lottery win and (ugh!) Dan's extramarital affair. It also features a good ol' fashion Conner gathering, as everyone comes together to welcome home Darlene and David's baby.
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"White Men Can't Kiss"
Season 7, Episode 9
D.J. wants to back out of the school play to avoid kissing a black girl — and Roseanne is not having it: "I didn't raise you to be some little bigot... Black people are just like us. They're every bit as good as us — and any people who don't think so is just some banjo-picking, cousin-dating, barefoot embarrassments to respectable white trash like us!"
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"Springtime for David"
Season 8, Episode 19
David moves out and takes a job at a local theme park that brainwashes its employees and operates like a cult. It's sort of like Disney World, only instead of a mouse named Mickey, there's a hare named Hans.
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"December Bride"
Season 8, Episode 11
The first same-sex nuptials ever depicted on an American television series take place during the second-to-last season, after Leon lets Roseanne plan his wedding to Scott.