Quotes Of The Week: Ted Lasso, Grey's, The Last Of Us, 9-1-1: Lone Star And More

Hollywood's formal awards season may have ended with last week's Oscars, but a spot in our Quotes of the Week compilation is a year-round accolade.

In the list below, we've gathered nearly 20 of television's most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.

This time around, we've got the latest target of a Keeley Jones F-bomb on Ted Lasso, a nod to a certain 9-1-1: Lone Star storyline that's best left forgotten, a psychedelic drug trip that leaves Party Down's Henry confused about his pop culture references, and American Auto's promise to viewers that they'll never look at a bottle of mustard the same way again.

Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of The Way Home, Abbott Elementary and Grey's Anatomy, plus quotable moments from The Last of Us, The Voice, Servant and more shows.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"I can't believe what I did! I'm the worst person in the whole world! What happened to me? I lost an entire guy!"

"No, Evie, there are worse people."

"Not really! Name someone worse, I don't know!"

"Stalin! Vlad the Impaler! John Krasinski! I mean, there are terrible people..."

"From The Office?!"

Henry (Adam Scott) hilariously confuses a beloved actor with the Unabomber while tripping on mushrooms

"F—k you, Joe Rogan!"

We're enjoying this trend of Keeley (Juno Temple) telling awful men to eff off (see also: Piers Morgan)

"God, it's like a real office out there! People typing and being awkward and everything!"

Keeley has officially arrived, and Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) is quick to notice

"I can't wait to see him next round performing some Tim McGraw or something."

Chance the Rapper, playfully sulking after losing a soulful singer to Blake Shelton

"You only get married once, mijo. Twice in your case, but only once to someone you love."

Apparently Carlos' mother (Roxana Brusso) missed the memo about never bringing up the Iris marriage storyline — like, ever again

"Think of it as a work uniform."

"A $10,000 work uniform, Harry?"

Harry (Steve Howey) tries to help Helen (Ginger Gonzaga) get comfortable in her (two pairs of!) undercover Louboutins and such

"Look at you. You've aged like a moderately priced wine."

Kat (Chyler Leigh) sees her high school friend Nick as an adult

"Guessing there's no parenting books for this unique situation."

"Well, I could write one, but I don't think I would sell very many copies. Building Resilience in Your Time-Traveling Teenager..."

"Yeah, it's a niche market."

Elliot (Evan Williams) and Kat (Chyler Leigh) contemplate how to break the news to Alice that her boyfriend from 1999 is engaged in the present-day timeline

"It was the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. I would've given anything to have had him for one more minute, and you gave me months with him. But this pain that I feel now, that's part of my love for him, too. I need to feel it."

A newly enlightened Dorothy (Lauren Ambrose) declines Leanne's offer to once again revive her dead son Jericho

"Draemond is changing the name to Legendary Schools Presents Abbott Charter."

"What in the Lee Daniels?"

Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) reacts to Ava's (Janelle James) announcement about the school's potential new moniker

"I'm very good at canvassing. People always open the door for me because they think I'm a lost child."

Janine (Quinta Brunson) is confident she can get the students' parents on board with her petition

"Agent Parker, I trust you'll let me know where I can get a proper varenyky?"

[The senator hands Parker her card before leaving, as Vance raises an eyebrow]

"A proper varenyky? Is that a euphemism?"

"It is now."

Senator Miller (Brigid Brannagh) is interested in Alden's... dumplings

"Matt is freaking out, he doesn't have a starch. You don't need a starch in every dish, this isn't 1978!"

Richard believes that a chef's big problem is actually small potatoes

"You think Richard is going to stay with me if I am the reason that a picture of his penis with a squiggle of mustard gets out on the Internet?!"

"Why would you take that picture?"

"We thought it would be sexy! It was stupid! It wasn't. It was humiliating, OK? It wasn't fun. It wasn't — Did you know that mustard stains?! Did you know that it stains the skin?! I didn't know that. I swear to God I didn't know that!"

Katherine (Ana Gasteyer) has a meltdown with Payne's lawyer Elliot (Humphrey Ker) about hackers releasing her and her husband's private nudes

"If you bring that hyena home again tonight, I'm sleeping in my van."

"How is that a threat?"

Blue (Harry Shum Jr.) suggests that Mika (Midori Francis) reconsider how she urges Lucas to ditch his noisy new lover

"That woman is yelling in [Owen's] face!"

"It's not you for once. This is me, trying to be encouraging."

Bailey (Chandra Wilson) points out to Teddy (Kim Raver) the silver lining in her husband's rocky evaluation to get off probation

"So, time heals all wounds, I guess."

"It wasn't time that did it."

Ellie (Bella Ramsey) and Joel (Pedro Pascal) break our hearts with what they don't say in the Season 1 finale

Mando: This is the way

Bo: This is the way

Grogu: *crab noise* pic.twitter.com/wMojJ67rFj

— Sam (@0neWayOut) March 15, 2023

Grogu (seemingly!) takes his first stab at the family mantra