Quotes Of The Week: The Morning Show, Big Sky, Ghosts, What If...? And More
How can you tell the fall TV season is in full swing? Look no further than our latest Quotes of the Week compilation, which features a full 30 (!) sound bites from the past seven days of television.
In the list below, we're looking back on the week's most memorable dialogue, including scenes both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we've got Helen's realization that Max is a complete slob on New Amsterdam, The Morning Show's delightfully meta nod to its own streaming home, some brutally honest wardrobe guidance for Big Sky's Donno and a new accessory of which The Good Doctor's Jordan is extremely fond.
Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of Billions' season finale (which cast member is out?), Ted Lasso's season finale (read post mortem), The Neighborhood and The Conners, plus quotable moments from The Voice, Only Murders in the Building, A Million Little Things and many more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
THE WALKING DEAD
"It's not gonna fit ya perfectly. It was someone else's face."
Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds a frustrated Maggie that a walker mask is not a pair of hiking boots
THE CONNERS
"When you were little, it was so cute when you fought. Now it's just two bitter, old spinsters going at it."
Dan (John Goodman) puts Darlene and Becky's petty argument into perspective
THE CONNERS (Bonus Quote!)
"If the dress is supposed to look like that on all the bridesmaids, then I better hit puberty real damn soon!"
Darlene (Sara Gilbert) is worried about how she'll look standing beside daughter Harris
GHOSTS
"Do you even know what sound you're listening for?"
"I'm not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna Gaines, and I'm not mad at that. Wanna come be my Chip, big boy?"
"Um, yes please. Wait a minute, why do we only role-play couples from HGTV?"
"Please don't kink-shame me."
Sam's (Rose McIver) attempt to figure out if a wall is load-bearing leads to sexy talk with her husband Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar)
NEW AMSTERDAM
"The man snores. I'm on, like, zero sleep right now. It's not just the snoring. He's messy. He's really messy. Like, Luna is the clean one. And he's disorganized. His place is cramped. My closet is bigger than his entire apartment."
"But to be fair, your closet, it's amazing."
"And to top it all off, he was out of toilet paper. I mean, is this my life now? My God."
Helen (Freema Agyeman) describes her "eye-opening" first full night at Max's place to Lauren (Janet Montgomery) — and in the end, none of that stuff is a dealbreaker
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
"Your personality is so distracting, I never noticed your breasts."
Ever the charmer, Seth Marks tells Heather Gay what every woman wants to hear from her friend's husband
BLUE BLOODS
"I was at my doctor, having a consultation about my upcoming colonoscopy. Should I tell him not to bother, now that you're doing the procedure?"
Anthony (Steve Schirripa) returns to the office to find a suspicious Erin all up in his... business
ANIMAL KINGDOM
"If I knew it was gonna go down like this, I would've given out breath mints."
Pete (Reynaldo Gallegos) realizes too late that Pope is a close talker
WHAT IF...?
"Any plans for this Saturday night...? You know, Bernard in accounting was asking about you..."
"Nothing good has ever followed the phrase 'Bernard in accounting.'"
As she in another timeline once tried to do with Steve, Natasha (voiced by Lake Bell) tries to play matchmaker for Peggy (Hayley Atwell)
A MILLION LITTLE THINGS
"It says 'No mattresses, no TVs.' It doesn't say anything about donating children."
Gary (James Roday Rodriguez) addresses a suspicious stranger who's wondering why Darcy's son is dumpster-diving at a charity drop-off site
SURVIVOR
"I was hoping it was the salt water that was making my clothes baggy, but the fact is I'm just turning into a little bit of a twig, and just kind of a fuzzy top. I feel like a broccoli, so... broccoli is a... grows little bunches on, uh, small trees. So, I feel like a little broccoli tree, I guess."
Brad Reese completely massacres the already-absurd line that his newfound advantage forced him to recite before this week's immunity challenge
BILLIONS
"If we can't finish it, we can't start it."
Axe (Damian Lewis), depriving Wendy — and fans of the drama — of a long overdue kiss
BILLIONS (Bonus Quote!)
"Didn't figure he'd leave you behind, huh? After all that effort, all that history, to just ghost ya like that? Guess you bet on a bad pony, Wen. Sorry for your loss."
A petty Chuck (Paul Giamatti) gloats when Wendy doesn't get to be with her new boo, Axe. (But for the record, Chuck, she knew.)
CALL THE MIDWIFE
"You approach me as a physician of the soul. But I have no panacea to offer."
A despondent Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt), after Nurse Phyllis asks if she can console Sister Frances following the death of Baby Christopher
THE VOICE
"Kelly's big connection to you, I guess, is you're both from Texas. That's the reason to choose her — even though she abandoned her home state years ago... "
"What?!?"
"... and never returned again."
"I have family in Texas!"
"That's even sadder, isn't it?"
Blake Shelton, trying to sever Kelly Clarkson's Texas tie to a potential recruit
YOUNG SHELDON
"What's a hobbit?"
"It's a race of short humanoids who live in burrows and have hairy feet."
"Oh! I've been called that, but I never knew what it was!"
Dr. Sturgis (Wallace Shawn) is more familiar with the work of J. R. R. Tolkien than he thought
THE BIG LEAP
"Justin's fine, it's the rest of them that I'm worried about. You know, Sneezy, Dopey, Dummy, Prostitute and Terrible."
Dealing with a disjointed dancing troupe is no fairy tale for Monica (Mallory Jansen)
THE GOOD DOCTOR
"It counts your steps, your pulse ox, monitors when you sleep, warns you when you're stressed and stores up to a thousand playlists. If it vibrated, I'd marry it."
Jordan (Bria Samoné Henderson) is perhaps too obsessed with the personal fitness tracker gifted by Ethicure Medical
TED LASSO
"She's a sneaky, salty bitch."
"Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right?"
Rebecca's (Hannah Waddingham) reaction to a so-bad-they're-good batch of biscuits doubles as a perfect descriptor for Amanda Woodward
TED LASSO (Bonus Quote!)
"F—k you, Piers Morgan!"
Keeley (Juno Temple), speaking on behalf of, well... everyone
CHICAGO FIRE
"Severide's a lot funnier than I remember."
"[Smiles] All right. If you say so."
Griffin (Cameron Scott Roberts) and Casey (Jesse Spencer) do not agree about Severide's sense of humor
THE MORNING SHOW
"I mean, another streaming service? They should be illegal."
"I guess you could just not subscribe."
Laura (Julianna Margulies) and Bradley's (Reese Witherspoon) discussion of UBA+ is just the right amount of meta
NCIS
"...Make sure he stays hydrated. Don't let him in the sun too much...."
"Geez, Palmer, we're not taking him to summer camp."
Jimmy (Brian Dietzen) readies Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and Alden to transport a hospitalized POI
THE ROOKIE
"The spa here is amazing, you really should try it."
"So while we get a massage, you what, steal a Monet?"
"A Monet? What am I, a teenage girl from the '80s decorating my room?"
Nolan (Nathan Fillion) underestimates Tricia Helfer's elite thief
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING
"Brazzos was our safe word."
"And what's the safe word for me to get out of this conversation?"
Jan (Amy Ryan) overshares about her and Charles' ... celebration of one another's bodies
LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION (Episode 9)
"Why don't you guys hang out with me a little longer? We could watch some TNG?"
"What's TNG?"
Could it be that Robert (played by Levar Burton) has never seeeeeeeen Parker's favorite Star Trek series?
BIG SKY
"We need to be honest with each other. You look like a pedo, or a serial killer. This John Wayne Gacy fall/winter collection? That ain't it."
Ren (Janina Gavankar) gives Donno some unsolicited fashion advice
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
"As-salamu alaykum."
"Wa alaykumu s-salam."
"Mayim Bialik to you!"
Dave (Max Greenfield) tries — and fails — to repeat after Calvin and Tina
THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Bonus Quote!)
"Trust me, that girl is as white as the cast of Friends."
Tina (Tichina Arnold) sees right through Alexis' Rachel Dolezal act
ON MY BLOCK (Episode 10)
"I'm not a weirdo. I'm a Gemini."
Chivo (Emilio Rivera) to Jamal, after hiding in the bushes and definitely being weird. (Who else is going to miss this show?)