Quotes Of The Week: Chicago P.D., Ziwe, Yellowstone, The Resident And More

Another outstanding year of television is coming to a close, and so is our Quotes of the Week feature for 2022.

Next Sunday, we'll share our picks for the most memorable quotes of the year, featuring the very best TV dialogue from the compilations we've published since January. But for now, we've gathered one last batch of nearly 20 bon mots and zingers from this week's television, which you can find in the list below.

This time around, we've got a pivotal turning point in Conrad and Billie's relationship on The Resident, some self-defense on The Winchesters that we think The Walking Dead's Negan would probably appreciate, an understandably surprised reaction to Ernie's hobbies on NCIS: Hawai'i, and Upton's crossing of a major professional line on Chicago P.D.'s fall finale.

Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of Yellowstone, The White Lotus and The Sex Lives of College Girls, plus quotable moments from Abbott Elementary, Ghosts, Home Economics and more shows.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"I love Jacob. I do. But you know what, he's a lot like paint fumes. Small doses, fine. Even somewhat enjoyable. But too much just gives you a headache."

Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) shares how she feels about her colleague

"You and Commander Chase do yoga together?"

"Was the incredulous tone for the yoga, or the 'together' part?"

"Both."

Jesse (Noah Mills) learns a bit more about Ernie's (Jason Antoon) AM routine

"The system failed him over and over again. So why on Earth should we punish him for not believing in something that he had no credible basis to believe in?"

Nolan Price (Hugh Dancy) brings up a good point while debating the ethics of trying a man — who fled Rikers in fear of his life — for murder

"Beth, love of my life, I don't think I can survive two days alone, and God knows that you hate horses and cattle and being dirty and cold and especially being told what to do, all of which is gonna happen tomorrow, but... would you consider coming and sparing me the misery of being without you?"

On his second try, Rip (Cole Hauser) demonstrates the correct way to invite his wife to go on the spring gathering

"How ya feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck. How about you?"

"Like I got hit by a Prius."

Beth (Kelly Reilly) offers Summer (Piper Perabo) faint praise the morning after their brawl

"We need you here... to make us all feel better about our drinking habits."

Stella (Miranda Rae Mayo) urges Carver to turn on the charm for Internal Affairs so he can stay at Firehouse 51... for reasons

"Are you kidding me?!?!?!"

"Starman" (the Ultra-Humanite) is not happy to see Pat not six feet under

"My masseur was so hot."

"What?"

"Yeah. Kinda looked like Timothée Chalamet. But he had muscles."

Daphne (Meghann Fahy) returns with a glowing review of her massage at the resort spa

"I love your giant pupils!"

Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) compliments Niccoló on the effects of his cocaine use

"How'd you come up with this?"

"Easy. I just thought about what you'd do... then did a much, much less expensive version."

Connor (Jimmy Tatro) and Tom (Topher Grace) discuss Tom's après-ski Christmas gift to his brother

"Uh, Shia LaBeouf... was the star of Even Stevens. Uh, his sister on the show, Christy Carlson Romano — also Kim Possible — she was a very empowering female figure, um, and taught young women that anything is possible. Kim Possible."

For the record, Ziwe's prompt for Blake Griffin was "Tell us more about how Shia LaBeouf is an inspiration to your allyship," so he actually kind of nailed it?

"See, I knew there was something special about that boy. You know what, brother? Welcome to the cookout. You're in the family."

Hardison (Aldis Hodge) weighs in on Eliot's adoptive parentage

"Nic would have been proud of you today."

"[after a pause] I want you to be proud of me."

Conrad (Matt Czuchry) at long last admits his true feelings for Billie (Jessica Lucas)

"Yo, someone's parents are here!"

"Ouch."

Jess (Katrina Law) and Nick swing by a frat house to ask questions

"Should we pull the fire alarm?"

"No. Haven't you ever watched a rom-com? Being rained on only makes people hornier."

Whitney (Alyah Chanelle Scott) and Bela (Amrit Kaur) wonder what they should do about Kimberly and Jackson's very loud humping

"You broke our boy's heart. He's eaten three whole Sbarro-size pizza slices today, and you know that's a lot for him."

Eric's dad (Adam J. Harrington) confronts Bela

"I hope he has dental insurance."

Millie (Bianca Kajlich), right before she uses a bat to knock out the Akrida posing as a cop

"Hetty's saying sometimes you need to bend the law in business, and Pete's arguing against."

"And whose mansion are we standing in right now?"

"OK, I had a three-bedroom in a very good school district."

Sam (Rose McIver) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) discuss whether they should serve alcohol without a liquor license, leading Pete (Richie Moriarty) to defend his home

"Don't call it in."

Upton (Tracy Spiridakos), making the bold choice not to call for aid and save Sean's life