Quotes Of The Week: Brilliant Minds, SVU, Golden Bachelor And More

TV is waking up just as September ends — what better way to celebrate than with Quotes of the Week?

In the column below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including Peacemaker, Law & Order Toronto: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: SVU, NCIS: Tony & Ziva, Tulsa King and Brilliant Minds.

Also featured in this week's roundup: The Golden Bachelor gets ready for bed, Survivor takes us to strange places and Michale Bublé underestimates his superpowers on The Voice. Plus, we've got a double dose of The Morning Show.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots and Andy Swift)

"At this time, I don't know if I want a rose or a pillow."

Alexandra is ready to hit the hay after pulling an all-nighter at the Bachelor mansion

"Doc was one of my absolute favorite shows last season — after everything that I was in, of course."

"I'm a huge fan of my work, too."

Hosts Janes Lynch and Krakowski try to out-ego each other

"Why do you love bedazzling so much?"

"I'm gay?"

Heidi questions Ethan's sparkle

"What's a 'quivering bosom'?"

"I'll let your mum cover that."

Sophie (Lara Rossi) is game to help Tali (Isla Gie) with tampons and such, but not a found trashy novel 

"The only thing I have to really say to Vinny is, 'The only thing I can ask you to do is not contact me after this.' I'm kidding! Well, not really." 

Ava Pearl busts Vinny the Lip's chops just seconds before he evicts her from the house

"Did you ever wonder what this whole place is about? What the festival is about? All right, I'll tell you a story. There was a big volcano called Mount Vesuvius. It was always erupting, a real pain in the a–. A real problem, see what I mean? So around 305 AD, the stupid volcano decides it's going to blow again. San Gennaro shows up, puts up his hand, does a miracle, and the volcano calms down. The crowd is cheering. He's like a hero. The Roman emperor doesn't like this. He's getting very jealous. So he decides to have San Gennaro whacked. What's he do? Chopped off his head. OK, that sealed the deal... All right, look: The point of this whole dissertation, you know what it is? Never volunteer for nothing."

Dwight (Sylvester Stallone) educates his grandchildren on the saint behind Little Italy's San Gennaro festival

"Sometimes I feel like Batman, but when he has to fight against Superman. Like, I've got no actual powers. Niall has laser vision, Reba can fly and Snoop can... puff smoke out of his mouth. And all I've got is a cool bike."

Michael Bublé shouldn't sell himself short as a coach — the inexplicable hold he has over moms worldwide totally counts as a superpower

"It's wild, I've never seen you wear black before."

"No?"

"No. Or pants."

"Pants? What, I'm always in my f—king underwear?"

Keith (David Denman) unwittingly bumps into the softer Harcourt's badass doppelganger (Jennifer Holland)

"I cannot wait for an aqua dump. If anyone does have an official aqua dump and you want to describe it to me in detail, please know that I would love nothing more than that. I love poop." 

Sage Ahrens-Nichols wastes zero time getting up close and personal with her new tribe... much to the detriment of... all of us

"You know when another dude looks at you in the eyes and you're like, it's a bromance? Alex reminds me of me, just a half-Black me that lives in the States. We get along so good in a non-sexual way. I don't know why I'm doing this. [Gestures with hands]  We're not doing that. We're good. We're just two dudes chilling." 

The Kele tribe's Jake Latimer breaks down his new special friendship with fellow bro Alex Moore 

Not a quote per se, but you had to enjoy Monica Potter — TV's erstwhile kindly Kristina Braverman — reacting to Jackée nominating her to be voted off

"Oh god, you're human trash."

"Aw, you called me human!"

"That's debatable."

Alex (Jennifer Aniston) and Bro (Boyd Holbrook) have wildly different takes on their latest conversation

"Jesus Christ."

"He is risen!"

Stella (Greta Lee) dies inside as she realizes Cory (Billy Crudup) now has the ultimate leverage over her

"Eh, my mom is a lot of things, but even I wouldn't go that far."

Oliver (Zachary Quinto) takes it in stride when someone calls him a "smug son of a bitch"

"No one's going to trust three guys and a couple of desks. We've gotta look like we're expanding."

"So you're a grower, not a shower?"

When a suspect named Nick (Peter Mooney) explains his cryptocurrency investment firm's subterfuge, Det. Sgt. Bateman (Kathleen Munroe) sums it up saucily

"Love you. Goodnight."

Stabler (Chris Meloni) makes history as he affectionately bids friend/former partner Benson goodbye