American Idol Recap: Nashville Stars?
Meet Steven Tyler, longtime Aerosmith frontman and surprisingly effective American Idol judge. He would like you to toast the conclusion of the show's season 10 Nashville audition episode with a refreshing glass of Kool-Aid. "I think we found The One today," he says with a cryptic wink.
You're hesitant. After all, Team Idol has a long history of trying to force things down your gullet before you've even decided you like the taste. But go ahead and take a sip anyway: Notice the crisp notes of pulverized confetti that rained down on Kelly Clarkson as she tearfully belted "A Moment Like This" in the season 1 finale. Savor the surprise introduction of an against-all-odds backstory. And don't miss that lingering hint of boiled-down tears collected not so long ago from Baylie Brown and Katie Stevens.
Yes, Idol fans, just like that, you've joined the cult of 15-year-old vocalist Lauren Alaina (whose name gives me unfortunate flashbacks to season 6 catastrophe Alaina Alexander). Not that you had a cricket's chance in a snake tank of resisting the kid.
Which isn't to say Lauren (pictured, top left) doesn't have plenty of talent or charm or charisma in her arsenal. Quite the opposite! But it's hard to suppress my cynicism/bitchery while executive producer Nigel Lythgoe is making like a master Jenga player and moving all the pieces around to force us into a premature attachment to Lauren.
It all started earlier today when Nigel took to Twitter to prime the pump for Lauren's introduction to the viewing public (with no less than a barely concealed comparison to the original Idol winner, I might add): "Check out Nashville tonight," he wrote. "I haven't been excited about a 15 year old until now. I can't wait to hear what Kelly Clarkson fans think!" And with that, Lauren's audition played out like a checklist from American Idol: A Producer's Guide to Manufacturing a Season-Long Front-Runner: 1) Unearth relatably upbeat teenage contestant. 2) Share her tearjerker backstory. (In this case, Lauren's very close older cousin, Holly, developed a brain tumor a few years back, during which time Lauren performed a benefit concert on her behalf.) 3) Make sure she gives the public some much-needed tears. (Anyone else find the kid's bedroom crying spell a tad, um, actorly?) 4) Attempt to draw in at least one judge for a jovial vocal collaboration. (In the interest of full disclosure, I'll admit I enjoyed Lauren's brassy rapport with Steven as she began belting "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," then demanded he "sing it" along with her when she got to the chorus.) 5) Bring in the family! Party time! Excellent! 6) Make sure said audition is the final one of the episode, because Idol must follow Vanessa Williams' golden rule of "Save the Best for Last." (Hey, how come nobody ever sings that on Idol?)
I know, I know...I'm being awfully tough on young Lauren. The girl has skills, and there's no denying she was worthy of that Golden Ticket. It's just that 10 seasons in to the show's evolution, I still struggle with the total absence of subtlety when it comes to producers pushing their favorites. Really, if Nigel & Co. want to see this girl excel, don't they realize they'd be wiser to let Lauren's fan base grow a little more slowly, a little less inorganically, in order to avoid the inevitable peaked-too-early backlash?
Ah, but there I am, the Kool-Aid in hand, spending half my recap talking about who? Yep, it's official, I'm the worst. Especially when tonight's telecast featured at least three, possibly four, singers I enjoyed as much, and probably more than Lauren. Shall we reminisce about their tryouts?
NEXT: Anyone else fall for "Maggie May" dude after 30 seconds of singing?
* Rob Bolin (along with Chelsee Oaks) | Of all the singers I heard tonight, Rob strikes me as the most worthy of cracking the season 10 semifinals. The scruffy little guy with the mildly bewildered eyes possesses a tone so smoky you can almost see the marks from the charcoal grill. What's more, his rendition of "Whats Goin' On" had rhythm and feeling and plenty of quiet confidence. Rob (pictured top right, page one) was equally chill-inducing on "To Love Somebody," which was performed as a gorgeous duet with his ex, Chelsee Oaks.
The latter singer's solo effort, on Brandi Carlile's "The Story," was pretty enough, but didn't quite pack the oomphs-per-minute as her former beaux. I was mildly amused by Steven's suggestion that the former couple "fall in love all over again," but if your main goal as a duo is to try to find your way back to a functioning TV camera and put a smile on the judges' faces, maybe there's a good reason you broke up in the first place? J.Lo, in particular, ought to know better: Plenty of total strangers would've had her stick with Ben Affleck — even after that humiliating "Jenny From the Block" video!
Adrienne Beasley | Who else got a case of the warm tinglies after the Waltons-esque highlight reel showing the 22-year-old beauty doing farm chores with her elderly adoptive parents? And while it's interesting that Adrienne (pictured, lower left, page 1) is black and her mom and dad are white, I thought the very plainspoken way in which they expressed their love to and about her was even more remarkable. No mugging for the cameras for this couple; just a bemused "who's gonna pay your way?" and a "yeah, I'm tickled" from dad upon hearing news of Adrienne's Golden Ticket.
Ma and Pa Beasley's emotional straightforwardness found its way into Adrienne's sweet but muscular rendition of Lady Antebellum's "American Honey," and I think that's the intangible quality Steven said had him almost in tears. I know season 9 found Haeley Vaughn tunelessly attempting to break past country's color barrier, but if Adrienne can keep her nerves steady and her instrument healthy, I say she'd have more in common with fresh-scrubbed farmer's daughter Carrie Underwood than with the chick who slaughtered "The Climb."
Jackie Wilson (pictured, bottom right, page 1) | Like Adrienne, Jackie's another contestant who'll benefit from a shot of glam when/if she makes it past Hollywood Week. Clad in an aggressively unremarkable black top and denim skirt, she infused Aretha's "Until You Come Back to Me" with a vulnerability that's often in short order on the Idol stage, worrying less about huge runs and more about bringing to life the words coming out of her mouth. As Steven said, Jackie sang the track as if she'd written it herself. And that's pretty much the best you could've asked her to do.
And then, of course, we got our first three-person, Golden Ticket-holder montage of season 10, highlighted by Paul McDonald's rhythmically alert, R&B-tinged "Maggie May." And before you dismiss him for having too little screentime, let's remember Lee DeWyze, Crystal Bowersox, and Kris Allen all had their initial auditions presented in mashup form (Lee and Crystal's together, if you'll recall).
NEXT: J.Lo becomes the tough one.
As for Paul's fellow Hollywood-bound compadres, I found Jimmie Allen (as well as his hot-pink tee and black cap) a little too Glee for his own good, and didn't really get enough of a listen to Danny Pate's "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" (with heavy accompaniment by the judges) to make an informed opinion.
Nevertheless, I'm not sure why Cecile Frot-Coutaz & Co. don't barrel through a lot more performances like this during every audition episode. At 30 seconds max per vocalist, I'm guessing they could pack in a dozen or so fresh auditions in the time it takes them to drag out a sad/desperate/"joke-y" audition like the tattoo artist who sang "Simple Man" or the dental assistant whose yodel/ullullation sounded like something you'd possibly hear fleeing the jungle in 1987's Predator. Just a thought!
While I'm on the subject of things Idol could do to liven up the next couple weeks' worth of shows, how about showing us more instances where a split decision on the judges' panel leads to a "Sorry, dawg, it's not gonna happen for me, for you"? instead of a Golden Ticket fakeout? Surely — surely — the vetting process for Hollywood Week is more rigorous than "you sounded vaguely okay — and now you'll be rewarded with a trip to the west coast and two nights' hotel fare!" Otherwise, those holding rooms are gonna resemble a Tokyo subway train at rush hour.
Tonight we saw two instances of a righteous "no" vote from J.Lo getting overturned by major softies Randy and Steven Simon — for former Miss Teen USA/Trump minion Stormi Henley and big-hearted foster brother Matt Dillard. "That may be the smallest voice we've heard in five cities," J.Lo huffed about Stormi's cover of "Father Can You Hear Me" (clearly not having allowed anyone to hear the sound of her practicing the much maligned "Louboutins"). What a nice teaching moment it would've been for young girls and boys to see Stormi's wisp of a voice get packed in the trunk along with her sequined gown and sash, but that'll have to wait for Hollywood, I suppose. The longer the delusion, the harder they fall, as they saying goes.
I also agreed with Jennifer that overall-clad Matt Dillard, 27, needed a better audition than his somehwat tremulous "You Raise Me Up" to advance to the next round, but I'm kind of eager to see if he makes good on his offer to "pretty up if you wanted me to." And anyway, if we're going to reward Stormi for having killer curves and a beaming smile, I suppose it's only fair to give a free pass to the guy who's been foster brother to more than 700 kids, right?
What did you think of tonight's audition show? Not as strong as Milwaukee's finest last night, right? Did your heart break a little when Ryan hugged the sobbing pharmacy tech kid? Sound off below! And if you have some strong thoughts or opinions on anything you saw tonight on Idol — pertaining to judges, contestants, trends or conspiracy theories — and you'd like to share them on the next episode of TVLine's new Idol-related Web series, Idoloonies, email a paragraph or two to idoloonies@tvline.com (and be sure to include a contact phone number). We'll be selecting a handful of readers each week to join me in cohosting the Webcast via Skype or video chat (to tape on Friday afternoons). We'll also be choosing a Twitter Question of the Week, so don't hesitate to fire your best shots to me @MichaelSlezakTV. Be sure to tag it #Idoloonies!
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