The Voice Top 9 Results Recap: Slaughterhouse For Five

By Michael Slezak
The Voice - Season 9 Courtesy of Trae Patton/NBC

Now that the ugliest, bloodiest elimination in the history of The Voice is over, what the heck do we do? Take a collective, cleansing breath? Scream bloody murder at the top of our lungs? Or perhaps freeze-frame our DVRs and see who can correctly count the number of pennies stitched together to make Gwen Stefani's coat of money colors.

Part of me just wants to sit at the bottom of Dolly Parton's sheer pant leg and let her strum me into the calm, safe space I'm not sure I'll ever occupy after an hour so stressful I'm feeling like the warning label on a pharmaceutical ad — suffering from nausea, night terrors, sudden loss of blood pressure, spontaneous migraines, white knuckles, exploding brain and instant death.But before you call me a hypochondriac, let me cut to the results.

Saved by America (AKA One of This Week's Top 3 Vote-Getters)

Jordan Smith (Team Adam)

Emily Ann Roberts (Team Blake)

Barrett Baber (Team Blake)

Instantly Eliminated (AKA One of This Week's Bottom 3 Vote-Getters)

Shelby Brown (Team Adam)

Amy Vachal (Team Adam)

Braiden Sunshine (Team Gwen)

Middle Three Vote-Getters (and Their "Save Me" Songs)

Zach Seabaugh (Team Blake), "Live Like You Were Dying" — Grade: C | Too many flat notes, not enough depth of feeling, and not enough life experience for a song with these lyrics.

Madi Davis (Team Pharrell), "Don't Dream It's Over" — Grade: D+ | Poor Madi completely (or at least her grasp of pitch) collapsed under the threat of elimination. :(

Jeffery Austin (Team Gwen), "Make It Rain" — Grade: A+| THIS IS WHAT WINNING SOUNDS LIKE. Pitch perfect. Emotionally raw. Ready to make his record.

Given that Jeffery won the Save-Me Sing-off — and has been the most consistently gorgeous, emotionally connected vocalist for the duration of Season 9 — I had only one option when the Twitter Save began:

For the first time all season, my efforts were not in vain!

Saved

Jeffery

Eliminated

Madi

Zach

Advancing to Next Week's Finals

Jeffery

Jordan

Barrett

Emily Ann

OK, your turn. What did you think of Top 9 results? Did America get it right? Was the right artist saved? And who do you want to win the whole enchilada? Sound off in the comments!

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