House Of Cards Season 3 Episode 1 Recap

The first scene establishes that President Underwood, much like Majority Whip Underwood, is a real pisser.

I know lots of folks (my impatient brother David included) like to fast-forward past the open titles. Not me. I find Jeff Beal's lush, haunting score to be the perfect palate cleanser between episodes. Also, I like to see who wrote and directed each episode.

He's alive!

Oh, that was a flash-forward. He actually barely survived getting bopped in the head by Rachel.

His physical therapist bears a striking resemblance to Rachel. Dude has a type.

Twist! Frank and Claire are sleeping in separate bedrooms! She claims it's because she's fighting off a cold, but I'm not buying what the First Lady is selling.

A housebound Doug catches his former boss on The Colbert Report. I didn't recognize the Stephen Colbert depicted here. This version was charmless, mean and unfunny. Didn't the real Stephen Colbert have script approval?

Captain Aceveda's in the House!

Doug wants Gavin to help him track down Rachel, but all I can think about is who's watching Cashew?!

Doug attempts to take a shower by himself. This isn't going to end well. Also: I can see his booty.

Toldja. Also: Ewwww.

The new White House sets are ridic, as evidenced by this perfectly framed shot of Frank and Claire. Props to director John David Coles.

Bold choice to start off Season 3 with an episode almost entirely devoted to Doug and his recovery.

Ruh-roh. Doug's back on the sauce.

What's the syringe for? Are all his glasses dirty?

Um... why is he forcibly handing his whiskey-filled syringe to the prostitute?

Oh, I get it now. Makes sense.

Jayne Atkinson is back as Secretary of State Catherine Durant, but her real-life husband, Michael Gill (aka Prez Garrett Walker) is not. Awkward.

Frank reluctantly agrees to make Claire UN ambassador OMG this set is stunning!