Thanksgiving Parade 2019: Best Moments

SING TO YOUR SUPPER

In the parade's grand tradition of 100-percent totally live Broadway performances, this year's event kicked off with a medley from the cast of Ain't Too Proud to Beg: The Life and Times of the Temptations. In other news, I finally found the perfect song to sing to my turkey tonight: "I know you want to leave me, but I refuse to let you go."

AL ROKER VS. BEETLEJUICE

If Beetlejuice wasn't already dead, I'm pretty sure Al Roker would have murdered him for referring to him as the Today Show's "third banana."

GOOD NEWS!

Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb then arrived on the scene with an update for viewers concerned about the weather. "Savannah and I have an announcement to make this morning. Our colleague, Matt Lauer... Oh, sorry, old announcement. ... The balloons will fly!"

SAY WHAT?

Hoda Kotb did an admirable job of pronouncing the various nonsensical children's characters on the parade route... until the Dragon Ball Z balloon floated by. One mispronunciation ("cock-a-rot?") sent Kotb into a giggle fit from which she never recovered.

FAMILY MATTERS

When Hoda Kotb introduced Ciara as "a judge from America's most musical family," did you also Google who her family members are... only to discover that Kotb was literally referring to a competition show called America's Most Musical Family?

#NOTMYTURTLES

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are celebrating their 35th anniversary this year...and they've never looked worse.

GO GO GET A ROOM

Hoda Kotb may be newly engaged, but that didn't stop her from fawning all over the "brave and muscular" Power Rangers balloon. She noted that the Rangers represent important things like "diversity and inclusion," but she failed to mention his greatest ability of all: flying way too low to the ground.

FIRST IN LINE FOR DINNER

There's a reason Tom Turkey always gets to lead the parade. He needs to hurry home... so he can be eaten. (Stunning lashes, though!)

BEST (OVER)DRESSED

I don't mean to play Fashion Police here, but given that Snuffy is basically a woolly mammoth, does he really need to dress for the weather? And for that matter, isn't he imaginary? (I always forget how complicated Sesame Street's mythology is.)

ROKER VS. BUTTER

One dancing stick of butter tried to score some extra screen time by chasing Al Roker down the street and screaming all sorts of butter-related nonsense. "We're buttering you up! Butter your turkey! Butter your ham!" (Is that, like, the butter equivalent of screaming "Baba Booey"?)

PHONING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Don't get me wrong, it was nice to see E.T. and Elliot reunited after all these years. But if your alien friend returned after more than three decades, would your first instinct be to sit him down and make him watch Christmas movies with your family? I'd call up everyone I've ever known to prove that I haven't been lying for the past 37 years.

MOST RELATABLE THANKSGIVING CONTRIBUTION

"What I bring to Thanksgiving Dinner is cash. I pay for it, and my mom cooks it."

— Retta, NBC's Good Girls

BEST REMINDER THAT INDEBTED EXISTS

"Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Especially my kids, who now know that my job is real!"

— Adam Pally, star of the NBC midseason comedy Indebted

ANGEL, WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH

Notoriously flawless human Celine Dion attempted to make her mortal fans feel better about themselves by performing a song about her own "imperfections." Sure, Celine. Whatever you say.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Sadly, not every balloon was able to take flight today, forcing NBC to air pre-recorded footage of Ronald McDonald and others from rehearsal. It was basically Rent: Live all over again.

PUCK THE CENSORS!

Al Roker is willing to put up with a lot of shenanigans on the parade route, but when former NHL stars began pelting him with hockey pucks, well...

"I've got to get the puck out of here!" Roker exclaimed, prompting a visibly nervous Savannah Guthrie to chime in: "Family parade! It's a family parade!"

SEEING (TOO MUCH) RED

I know I can't be the only person who gets uncomfortable when they see full-bodied Muppets. I already feel like they're alive; I don't need to see them peddling bicycles all on their own.

MOST ON-BRAND PERFORMANCE

If you told me that Lea Michele wrote "Christmas in New York" — which literally name checks Macy's — purely for the sake of this parade performance, I'd believe you.