Quotes Of The Week: Grey's Anatomy, Mom, The Blacklist, DWTS And More

Our latest Quotes of the Week compilation is so robust, it's almost like fall TV feels... normal?

Of course, judging by the COVID-19 storylines and face masks featured on half of this week's shows, we're still living in our own personal Twilight Zone episode. But with the returns of series like Grey's Anatomy, The Blacklist, The Unicorn and #OneChicago, our latest collection of TV dialogue features more than 25 memorable scenes.

This time around, we've got Madison's love for a certain Starz drama on This Is Us, the Moonbase 8 astronauts' realization that they have no clue what organization they work for, a potentially traumatic discovery for Station 19's Travis and a Dancing With the Stars pro who does the unthinkable during a pandemic: hugs someone.

Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of Grey's Anatomy (read premiere recap and learn how that moment came together), The Blacklist (read premiere post mortem), NEXT and The Undoing, plus sound bites from Mom, Last Week Tonight, Dash & Lily, Chicago Fire, Fargo and many more shows.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"Hold on, you've read Hamlet?"

"Thanks. The surprise in your voice is very flattering."

Iris (Aliyah Royale) is taken aback to learn that Percy (Ted Sutherland) was ever that Bard

"This is like House of Cards, in that it's full of political intrigue, there's a sexual predator pretending to be president at the very heart of it, and it's gone on for at least four seasons too long."

Oliver compares the Trump presidency to a certain Netflix show

"Everybody! A toast! Happy anniversary to Bonnie and... what was it?"

"Adam. It's hard to remember because it was the first name ever."

Marjorie's new beau (Kevin Dunn) makes it very hard for Adam (William Fichtner) to like him

[Takes patient's temperature] "Ninety-eight-point-six. So you are going to want to follow the purple line to the ER."

"I don't want a Chinese doctor."

"Oh. OK. Then you're gonna wanna follow this green line to the parking lot, put your rude self back in your car and hope that you don't go into anaphylactic shock."

Perez (Zaiver Sinnett) isn't having any racist bulls—t during a pandemic, thank you very much

"Wait... is that Kenny G? [Gasps] Do you only have romantic soft-pillow sex?"

Jo (Camilla Luddington), less than impressed by Jackson's prep for their hookup

"Kelly Clarkson!"

Undercover Deeks' (Eric Christian Olsen) tic-y hobo character apparently picked up a copy of The 40-Year-Old Virgin in his travels

"Persistence, chief."

"Yeah, you got that, don't you?"

"Ask Severide when he doesn't want to watch The Bachelor with me. [beat] He's seen every episode."

Stella (Miranda Rae Mayo) does not give up easily, especially when it comes to her TV viewing

"We're not gonna let one mistake end all that. And you know why? Because we are members of the National Association of Space Astronauts."

"The what?"

"NASA."

"No, it's the North American... Space... Association, right?"

"No, no, no. That's not it."

"National Association..."

"It's not national. Nautical. Nautical, 'cause it started with boats. Nautical... Astronomy Society of... Adventure."

"I don't think it stands for anything. I think it's just a word. NASA."

"NASA. OK! NASA! We're NASA!"

Cap's (John C. Reilly) pep talk to Skip and Rook (Fred Armisen and Tim Heidecker) devolves into a debate over NASA's real meaning

"There's that new Pixar movie, Collation, about the stapler that falls in love with a piece of paper!"

Lily (Midori Francis) tries to sell her fellow carolers on a Pixar film that needs to be real

"The suburbs... suburban... sub... urban. 'Sub' means below, right?"

"That's one of the meanings, yes."

"Below urban... When Nicole Kidman is having missionary sex with her husband, she is sub-Urban."

Believe it or not, Gina (Annaleigh Ashford) was completely sober during this interaction with Drew (Thomas Middleditch)

"How come they're called unicorns and not unihorns?"

Blake Shelton, while the rest of the coaches were inner-monologuing their insecurities about Mega Mentor Usher

"You murdered a child to have me killed. I'm so proud of you."

Gaetano (Salvatore Esposito) can't help but respect his brother Josto's ruthless mob tactics (and don't worry, the child is alive and well)

"People hire me to create muck... That's what I can give you — muck."

No-nonsense attorney Hayley Fitzgerald (Noma Dumezweni) makes a formidable first impression during her meet-and-greet with Grace

"My son had cancer, I put him into your husband's care, he f—ked my wife. What kind of doctor does that?"

"What kind of mother ends up f—king her son's oncologist? I'm under a lot of pressure right now and I reached the point where I am not taking s—t from anyone."

After enduring the week from hell, Grace (Nicole Kidman) is officially out of f—ks to give when confronted by Fernando (Ismael Cruz Córdova), the grieving spouse of her husband's dead mistress

"Are we allowed to hug? OK, we might get arrested."

Carrie Ann Inaba isn't sure how to react when Artem Chigvintsev and Kaitlyn Bristowe break COVID protocols to hug her for her positive comments

"She has such a big heart, and these piercing blue eyes. The whole thing... it was electric. It may have only been two minutes, but I know everything I need to know about her."

"Except for who she is and how to find her!"

Wade's (Walton Goggins) search for his mystery dream woman continues, but not without an on-point quip from his pal, Ben (Omar Benson Miller)

"Mr. LeBlanc! It is such an honor to meet you—"

"If that were true, you'd be using one of my phones, wouldn't you?" [Plops guy's phone into the water pitcher]

Paranoid Paul (John Slattery) sends his daughter's date's phone for a swim

"Don't get the wrong idea. You can only do this when you've got evil computers coming after you."

Ty (Gerardo Celasco) teaches Ethan the one loophole in hotwiring someone else's car

"I was swiping for gay sex, and I saw a picture of my dad with his shirt off wearing only chinos and a belt. And his profile said... 'Let me be your daddy.'"

"Are you sure it was him?"

"I gave him the belt."

Travis (Jay Hayden) confides in Vic (Barrett Doss) to give her a sense of normalcy (no, really!)

"Do not forget how this feels right now. You are a world-killer. Now I see you... Why is there a ring in your nose? Are you cattle?"

Managing director Eric (Ken Leung) gives young financier-in-training Harper a high compliment... then immediately takes a jab at her

"Don't play with your food."

Mando (Pedro Pascal) saves the Child from his seafood chowder

"So wait, are you saying your mother's target is her own father?"

"Yeah. It's, uh... it's a long story."

"That she hired Roanoke to abduct him?"

"A very long story."

As Agent Park (Laura Sohn) becomes baffled by Liz's family dynamics, Aram (Amir Arison) hints that she doesn't know the half of it

"Don't look so disgruntled, Agent Frederick. I don't bite. Unless you ever utter my name, in which case I'll gut you like a fish and feed you to the lobsters."

"Good pep talk."

For Ressler (Diego Klattenhoff), Red's threats are old hat by now

"You're going to let a dog sit in the Impala?"

"Hey, relax, I'm not giving him shotgun — unless you're cool with that."

Sam (Jared Padalecki) is shocked that Dean (Jensen Ackles) wants a pooch to ride home with them

"No Pelican Bay, no San Quentin... I don't want solitary, and no damn supermax."

"That's not how this works."

"You can't just order up prison time like we're Postmates."

Deacon (Jay Harrington) and Hondo (Shemar Moore) refuse to take El Diablo's nephew's order

"Where I'm from, a guy like Spencer — pretty boy — he's lunch meat. We didn't grow up with a whole lot, but what we had was fried bologna. That man is a fried bologna sandwich with the mayonnaise all day."

Judging by Riley's culinary metaphor, he finds new cast addition Spencer to be quite repulsive

"I am obsessed with the show Outlander. I've gone to conventions."

"No."

"Yeah."

"You're one of those people."

"Yeah, one of those people."

Madison (Caitlin Thompson) tops off her list of confessions to Kevin (Justin Hartley) with a Sassenach surprise