Quotes Of The Week: Tracker, Survivor, Widow's Bay, Ghosts, And More

You didn't think we'd forget Quotes of the Week, did you?

In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including "Family Guy," "Tracker," "Marshals," and "The Late Show With Stephen Colbert."

Also featured in this week's roundup: Jeff Probst jokes about his live-TV blunder, "Ghosts" considers the merits of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," and "Widow's Bay" gets spiritual. Plus, we've got a double dose of "Elsbeth."

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Ryan Schwartz, and Andy Swift)

"Oh golly, this is like the end of 'Raiders'!" 

"What is 'Raiders'?" 

"Oh, it's about this really cool guy who goes to ancient Egypt to steal a bunch of priceless antiquities and... you know what? It's not that good. I actually didn't really care for it." 

Pete (Richie Moriarty) walks back his excitement for Harrison Ford's 1981 classic "Raiders of the Lost Ark" after trying to explain it to Egyptian prince Amunhotep (Farhang Ghajar)

"I love doing live television. So, in case you're confused, this is what happened. We were going to show you fire-making, then have the loser of fire-making, Rizo, come out and talk about how charming he is and if he had practiced fire-making, then maybe he would have won. Instead, we did a 'Survivor' twist. It's the last twist of the season, we call it a Peek Into the Future, so now we're going to watch Rizo lose in fire to Jonathan!" 

Jeff Probst cracks a funny after accidentally spoiling the results of the Final 4 fire-making challenge before it aired on TV

"Oh my God, you're a drug dealer?"

"No, please... I'm a shaman."

"Is that cocaine?"

"Yes." 

Todd (Chris Fleming) leans into the spiritual side of his profession while defending it to Patricia (Kate O'Flynn)

"He reminds me of grandpa... without all the swearing."

Tate (Brecken Merrill) offers the perfect description of Tom Weaver, the show's network TV-friendly version of John Dutton

"This conflict keeps dragging on, Am I right? I'll tell you, if you put the Civil War on ABC, it'll be canceled in 13 weeks."

Is this supposed to be Bob Hope... doing a bit about network TV cancellations... during the Civil War? Who is this joke even for? (Us. The answer is us.)

"Without you, where will Americans turn to see a middle-aged white man make jokes about the news?"

"The news... why? What's going on?"

Jimmy Fallon, leaning into his reputation as late night's least political host, plays dumb at the very mention of news

"Your safety was on... and your fly was down."

Russell (Jensen Ackles), making clear he was never afraid of Dr. Jukic's boyfriend Paul

"I wanted to watch myself on the tube. I recently shot a guest spot on 'Father Crime.'"

"Ooh, I know that show! Wow, you must be a great actress. 'Father Crime' gets the best guest stars, probably because it shoots in New York."

Just like "Elsbeth" does, wink-wink! (And, yes, the show does get the best guest stars, as evidenced by Patti LuPone's presence in this scene)

"Roy isn't marrying you, he's marrying me. And I don't want him to get a false sense of what life with me is gonna be like. There's gonna be more nights of TV and pizza than there is flowers and skywriting."

"Why are people so against skywriting?!"

"Chemtrails!"

"Those aren't real!"

Teddy's (Ben Levi Ross) discussion with mom Elsbeth (Carrie Preston) about his potential engagement to Roy goes off the rails